Sunday, January 23, 2011

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar

I have a confession to make. I know that he will never read this as I have not told any friends about this so I feel safe in confessing. I am in love with one of my closest friends. He has no knowledge of this that I know of. I have been in love with him for many years and have never been able to find the right way to tell him. I have known him for pratically my entire life. His younger sister is my best friend from childhood and he has always been there for me. He protected me from bullies in school, made sure I made it safely to the bus every morning in Middle school, and held me when as I cried when my grandfather died. When my dad died he was there for me and sent the sweetest card. My dad loved him like a son and it was nice to see that the feeling was mutual.

So since we have both been busy lately, we have not really caught up in the past couple of weeks. Tonight I logged onto facebook and saw he had changed his status to in a relationship. It broke my heart. I know I have no claim to him in that way but I feel like it is too late regardless. He will never see me as anything more than just a friend.

Of course his new girlfriend is beautiful and thin, two things I am not. I want to be so happy for him but it hurts.

So as Taylor Swift's song says "He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar. The only one who's got enough of me to break to my heart"

I wish life were like a musical

Okay so I have been watching far too many musicals lately. For Christmas I got my mom a box set with "Easter Parade", "Singin in the Rain", "Band Wagon", and "Meet Me in St. Louis" on it. We have also been watching "Mamma Mia", "Hairspray", and "Phantom of the Opera" lately and I have come to the realization that life would be so much better if we all randomly broke out into song. Of course I do on a daily basis but it would be nice to not be the only one.

Music is such an important part of my life. Not only did I play an instrument all through high school, but I sang in the choir and took dance class. All of which played an important part in shaping who I am today.

Where would we be without music? It is the soundtack of our lives. I can tell you that the first song I slow danced with a guy to was "Quit Playing Games with My Heart" by the Backstreet Boys. My first kiss was to "Build Me Up Buttercup" (we for some reason were obessed with that song in eight grade). There are so many moments in our lives that are dictated by music that I can not imagine a world without it.

I for one would love to break out into song when cleaning the house like all the Disney princesses seem to do. Or when life is being less than kind to sing my way out of a bad situation. Or when something amazing happens to be able to break out into a song complete with a dance number.

Maybe I am just being silly but watch a musical and you may feel the same way as me too.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

While we here in Ohio are not getting hit as hard some other areas of the country, we have had our fair share of snow over the past few days. And do you want to know a secret..... I love it. Yes I love snow. I love the way it glistens in the sun, I love watching the big fluffy flakes fall from the sky, I love the way it seems like the whole world stops if only for a minute. I love the fact that you can bundle up in hats, scarves, mittens, sweaters, and play in the snow no matter how old you are. I love sitting inside curled up in the big brown chair with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. To me snow is what makes winter fabulous.

I have always had this love affair with snow and my dad always blamed it on the fact that I was born during one of the worst ice/snow storms in 1985. I have always had great timing. There are pictures in my baby book of the winter wonderland that was outside my mom's hospital room window. It continued as I got older as well. I was always the first one out the door to play and the last one to come inside. I loved to sled, build forts, and have snowball fights. Snowmen were always a staple in our front yard every winter and snow angels were always scattered throughout the yard.

Of course snow and I have had our bad times to. Every great relationship has it bumps. Once I started driving snow scared the bejesus out of me. I was scared and very timid when driving on it. Of course with driving also came cleaning off cars which I despise. I once even had to cancel a birthday party because of my prescious white stuff. I was mad but in the end snow and I always seem to reconcile and my love continues.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

New Year, New Me

I am so excited for a new year to begin. 2010 was not as bad as other years have been but it was not stellar either. I am hoping that 2011 goes more smoothly and that I can reach some goals I have been working on. My plan is to not make a New Year's Resolution per say but to make more lifestyle changes that I can stick with.

1. To lose some more weight. I have been doing it slowly through a change in my eating habits rather than a diet. So far it has been working. Last year alone I lost 25 lbs which have stayed off. My goal this year is to lose at least 30 lbs and to exercise a bit more.

2. Keep on track with my new spending/saving habits. I have a great community of friends over on a No Buy thread on the disney boards who help to encourage me to keep on track and to be honest with my spending.

3. To try new things at least once a month. Whether it be a new food or a new experience I want to come out of my shell a bit more.

4. To keep up with my personal journal as well as this blog. So far I have written in my personal journals everyday since the end of April 2010 and want to continue doing it as it helps keep my thoughts sorted out. Plus it is cheap therapy.

5. To become more organized. I have gotten better at keeping paperwork organized now I just need to get to the rest of the house. It might be nice for a change to not have rush around at the last minute to get the house clean before comapny comes over.

6. To graduate from college with my associates degree. It has been a goal I have been working on for awhile. It seems as though whenever I get close something happens and I can't get it done.

7. To find a job. I have been looking hard for the past two years and really want to up my game. It is such a hard job market out there that I need to put myself out there more in the hopes that I will catch someone's eye.

8. To reconnect with old friends. I have reconnected with a few this past year but I would to see more of them. Friends are very important to me and I want to become close to them again.

So let's hope that I can accomplish these goals for 2011 and that you will join me on my journey to accomplish them.